Birmingham bar bemoans lack of nearby Pokémon hotspots

A bar in Birmingham have complained that they are losing business because of Pokémon Go.

Based in the city’s trendy Jewellery Quarter, the team behind 1000 Trades are concerned about their inability to keep up with nearby chair bars because of a lack of Pokémon at their establishment.

This week the release of Pokémon Go in the UK has dominated headlines, and has been predicted to affect a number of businesses both positively and negatively with some even preparing to deal with the swathe of potential new business.

However, while the cartoon creatures have been popping up all over the second city in parks, churches and even adult cinemas, it seems that some smaller businesses have been left out.

“We’re excited to be bringing a building in the Jewellery Quarter back to life as an independent bar and kitchen. But so far we have no Pokemon. I’ve been staring at my phone, crossing my legs all day hoping for a Squirtle,” bar manager John Stapleton said.

“Customers have told me that they love our selection of fine food, ales and wine in a box, but if they can’t catch a bulbasaur they’ll be off down to Costa.

“We want to be at the heart of a neighbourhood with a rich history and a vibrant present. 1000 trades speaks to Birmingham as a place where you could get anything made. But without a fair deal in these pokemans it seems no-one may give a psyduck.”

(P.S. We’re aware this is satirical, thanks)