Top five reasons to avoid Dry January

The Alcohol Concern Dry January campaign challenges people in the UK to stop drinking for a month with the aim of increasing awareness of alcohol-related problems and raising money to support its work.

More than two million people signed up last year and, naturally in a boozy culture such as ours, it’s the subject of a lot of chat and noisy, narcissistic avowals of virtue.

We disapprove. These are five reasons why…

1 – It’s infantile

‘Why don’t we do Veganuary as well?’ Shut it, Tinky Winky

The endless stream of half-baked PR company calendar events arguably crossed the line with Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, but ‘Cuddle Up Day’ (January 6)? ‘Marzipan Day’ (January 12)? Veganuary? It’s as if a small and particularly saccharine child has taken over civic life and is dominating the national conversation. Stop it.

2 – It’s extreme

No one likes cold turkey. Nobody even likes warm turkey…

Just like binge-drinking, ‘binge sobriety’ can unduly shock the system. If you drink enough to justify ‘laying off for a bit’, as with nicotine and any number of other addictive things, a moderate approach makes more sense. The UK government has consistently advised people to have two dry days a week – that’s all it takes; not complete abstinence. Also, remember that many health experts advise that a glass of red wine a day is almost certainly good for you, with experiments revealing benefits from preventing type-2 diabetes to managing cholesterol and cardiac health. Dry January represents a very black-and-white, good-and-evil view of things which leads to the sort of guilt, anxiety and extreme forms of behaviour that, conveniently enough, a cheery glass of wine or pint of beer provides an antidote to.

3 – It’s bad for the economy

You did this. You and your ‘mocktails’…

As a couple of million suggestible Brits turn their back on booze and Dry January tightens its icy grip, the press is reporting of a ‘nightmare’ time for the pub industry. Around four pubs shut every day in the UK right now – the highest closure rate since 1904, according to the Lost Pubs Project (the figures are backed up by the Campaign for Real Ale). Surely no amount of ‘mocktails’ (terrible, terrible word for a terrible, terrible concept) is going to make that any better.

4 – It’s not cricket

What, rain again, really?

In other words, it’s just not appropriate to the British hemispherical predicament of being trapped under a raincloud at 3C with three and a half hours of daylight for two months: January is hard enough as it is without taking away the mollifying and spirit-raising effects of alcohol.

5 – It’s a flawed idea

Abstinence is living on the edge… in a bad way

It cannot be denied that taking a break from alcohol can have significant health benefits – it can help you save money, lose weight, improve sleep, yadda, yadda. But Alcohol Concern’s ultimate aim with Dry January is to change the drinking culture in the UK. If anything, though, it reinforces it. Complete abstinence represents a swing from one extreme to another, with the attendant danger of an aggressive rebound, from a dry January to a very wet, possibly even wet-brained, February.

The message is clear: Dry January – don’t do it!