Chris Orr comments on …..Chateauneuf Offer Pap?

I was sitting in front of the television the other day having a bit of a couch potato moment when an advert came on that made me leap out of my seat. “Châteauneuf-du-Pape – was £12.99 now £6.49 – save 50%”. It was from one of the major supermarkets – and I leapt out of my seat, not through a desperate desire to get down to the retailer and buy it all up but to swear, curse and fulminate.

I was sitting in front of the television the other day having a bit of a couch potato moment when an advert came on that made me leap out of my seat. “Châteauneuf-du-Pape – was £12.99 now £6.49 – save 50%”. It was from one of the major supermarkets – and I leapt out of my seat, not through a desperate desire to get down to the retailer and buy it all up but to swear, curse and fulminate.

What the advert told me was two things. First, when I sat down to do this piece, I couldn’t hand on heart remember which big supermarket it actually was. I thought it was Tesco, but also thought it might be Asda. I could remember that the voice sounded vaguely like Neill Morrisey’s, but given the fact that he currently makes more money than the Queen out of voice overs and tele ads, that wasn’t a great clue. When I went on to the web and typed in “Christmas+offers+chateauneuf” on google, it came up with clues leading mainly to Tesco, though I couldn’t actually see the offer on the website when I clicked through. So I ended up very confused. One thing I know though is that the ad was on television.

So I guess what that said to me was that I really wouldn’t like to be in advertising – or rather be in charge of an advertising budget. I mean, would you like to spend millions on an ad campaign in the run up to Christmas, not to mention the money funding the offers of 50% off on a premium wine, only to have people such as myself wandering around going “oooh, I must buy that great offer from the TV, where was it again… er Tesco, no Sainsbury… or was it Somerfield? Damn it all.” It’s not really why you pay your money to the great gods of advertising is it?

Most importantly, though, it told me that things had got to a ridiculous level. I say here and now, in order to ensure that I don’t run foul of some tricky corporate lawyer that I am sure the retailer in question has abided by the rules. I am sure they’ve had their Châteauneuf-du-Pape up at the full price for at least the required period in law, if not longer, before reducing it to this eye watering level. No questions there. But from a personal point of view – in other words, as wine lover and wine writer of some 15 years, I don’t believe it. I really, simply, fundamentally don’t believe it. I don’t believe, given the margin constraints and the duty situation in this country at the moment, that even a big retailer can buy a Châteauneuf-du-Pape that is actually worth £12.99 in taste terms at a price that allows them to sell at half price and make money. I am sure the buyers at whichever superstore it is can sit around a table and convince themselves that a £4.99 or £5.99 Châteauneuf-du-Pape is worth £12.99 because it suits their needs, but that doesn’t cut it as far as I am concerned. “Innovation” is the word off the lips of many major retailers.

“We need innovation”. What in the name of God is innovative about taking a cheap version of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, over-inflating its real value and then cutting its price in half at Christmas time to a level that any right-minded retailer would have been charging for it in the first place? If the retailer that’s done this can tell me, then I will happily write a grovelling apology in my next column. Just in case I have made a humongous mistake however, I am going to try and track that wine down this weekend – and then buy a whole load of other similarly priced Châteauneuf-du-Pape and do a blind tasting. The proof, as they say, is in the pudding. I just sincerely hope for the sake of the average consumer that this Châteauneuf doesn’t turn out to be completely pap.