The fame game

I’m still waiting for "Celebrity I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here"

BACK IN THE 1970s Joan Collins was quite happy for Leonard Rossiter to spill Cinzano all over her in the name of advertising.  In the Noughties, now that alcohol is considered only one link above tobacco and recreational drugs in the food chain, celebrities are much more wary about formally endorsing drinks brands in return for cash.

After Wimbledon, Leeds and Chelsea, Vinnie Jones has signed up for Bacardi, but then old "Mosquito Brain", who has since tried his hand at acting nd fashion design, would do anything if the price is right.

Sure enough, Madonna has plugged Timothy Taylor Landlord beer on the Jonathan Ross show; P Diddy and Busta Rhymes have rapped about Cristal and Courvoisier respectively, while Keith Richards has been a far more effective brand ambassador for Jack Daniels than Mr Jack himself.

They’ve undoubtedly boosted sales of these brands, but their endorsements have been personal expressions of preference and – we assume – they’ve come free of charge.  And as we all know in the drinks business, a voluntary plug from a celebrity, or even a humble wine writer, is far more credible than a paid-for advertisement.

Any evening’s trawl through the detritus on TV confirms that we live in celebrity-obsessed times when even complete nomarks get more than their allotted 15 minutes.  I’m still waiting for "Celebrity I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here".

The Champenois have long understood the benefits of being associated with "the right sort of people".  In fact, the right sort have returned the compliment, being only too happy to conspicuously consume a potent symbol of success.

In a stroke of marketing genius, Mini-Moët became the official Champagne of London Fashion Week back in 1998; the rationale being that Champagne sipped through a straw would not smudge the models’ lippy.

And you have to hand it to those Krug guys for exploiting the "brand in the hand" phenomenon.  On May 14 last year a sparkling dinner was staged at Syon Park in Richmond to celebrate Henri Krug’s 40th anniversary in the Krug winemaking hot-seat, and members of the the Krug celebrity fan base were happy to attend.

Names included actresses Dame Judi Dench, Amanda Donohue and Emilia Fox, ballerina Darcy Bussell, Green Shield Stamps heir Tim Jefferies and designer to the stars Bruce Oldfield, who likes to serve half-bottles of Krug to his well-heeled clients.

A A Gill was also there, though presumably he’s no longer quite as big a fan of Krug as he used to be.  Henri’s brother, Remi Krug works tirelessly as an ambassador for the Krug brand, visiting "friends of Krug" around the world.

In fact Special K, as I like to call it, is not so much a brand as an exclusively run club. Now I have a confession to make.  About a million years ago I went on a press trip to Chile where I asked each and every producer the same question:  "Are you self-sufficient in grapes?" I was working on a story, you see.

Nonetheless, my fellow wine writers groaned in unison each time I asked.  Since then, realising the currency of celebrity, I’ve asked most wine people I meet an alternative identical question:  "Do you have any famous fans?" I can now reveal that in pre- Real Madrid days, David Beckham would call into Selfridge’s glitzy food-hall in Manchester for a bottle of Petrus, at about £575 a time, on the way home from training.

His estranged father-figure, Sir Alex Ferguson, who was less than enamoured with Becks’ showbiz lifestyle, is partial to the more volatile qualities of Chateau Musar which, appropriately, can be bought for about £562 less.

The glory reflects both ways when a celeb is spotted with a posh glass of wine, which is why the "one-glass-per-vine" Château d’Yquem attracts rich palates.  Acolytes have included the late Queen Mother, Placido Domingo and Madonna, who presumably drinks it as a chaser after her pint of Timothy Taylor).

Johnny Depp allegedly seeks out Quinta do Noval Nacional wherever he can; and don’t tell various Bond sponsors Dom Pérignon or Bollinger, but for Pierce Brosnan it has to be Cristal.

As Sir Alex Ferguson’s penchant for Chateau Musar indicates, however, wines don’t have to be overly flash to attract the rich-list. Michael Palin, Ken Hom, Bryn Terfel, the late Sir Alec "Obi Wan" Guinness and Alan "sex-on-astick" Titchmarsh have all succumbed to the feline charms of Cloudy Bay.

Brand managers might want to use some of this information, but I would contact the relevant agents first.  Think of the mileage that could made from these voluntary endorsements.

I waited in vain for a press release when Karl and Susan Kennedy brought a bottle of Grange 1972 to Drew and Libby’s house-warming in Neighbours. 

Nowadays, Jamie "Cheeky Chops" Oliver promotes wine for Sainsbury’s, while Leslie Grantham and even Helen Lederer have wrested wine columns from a sizeable phalanx of professional drinks writers.

In short, we have been so myopically safe and unadventurous in how we present our chosen specialist subject that commissioning editors have had to get their kicks elsewhere.

Few wine writers can be accused of "sexing-up" the dossier on wines of mass consumption.  More’s the pity.