Fine wine vs hip hop

I’ve been considering the future of the fine wine market lately, not an uncommon occurrence but now there’s something really worth pondering.

For 16 months now the fine wine market has been in decline, dragged down by Bordeaux for the most part, no thanks to a series of badly judged en primeur campaigns.

The market has declined to an unprecedented degree and many merchants readily admit they never expected to see a region like Bordeaux remain unpopular for so long.

Burgundy, Champagne and Super Tuscans have moved in to steal Bordeaux’s thunder in the meantime – though they’ve yet to fully take up the slack.

However, in July Liv-ex reported that the decline slowed, more Bordeaux from vintages such as 2009 are finding a market as their prices finally sink to a level buyers find acceptable and there’s a growing trade in “off” vintage Lafite.

It’s highly likely the market still has a little way to go before it finds rock bottom especially for those über-priced 2009s and 2010s and a few more months of decline are probably in order.

Nonetheless, it’s also likely that before the end of the year we may see a slight upturn in the market and Bordeaux regaining some favour.

You may say the wine market’s changed but you want to know how I feel about it?

Well, I don’t care I’m going to tell you anyway. For all the changes, beneath it all nothing’s really much different, Bordeaux is still running the game. It has the prestige and, most importantly, the quantity to make it a viable trading asset.

Bordeaux was always going to bounce back and we need to prepare for that – with music.

Any good comeback requires music, think Rocky, and I suppose what I’ve really been thinking about is, what righteous harmony best suits a triumphant return?

Now, most organisers for big events would plump for something like Zadok the Priest, the first movement of Vivaldi’s Spring Concerto, Hail to the Chief or, God help us, Things Can Only Get Better by D:Ream.

But this wouldn’t be the “Fine Wine vs” series if it went for anything so tiresomely predictable.

No, if you’re going to pick a tune to herald the return of Bordeaux to the throne of fine wine I would recommend “Still Dre” from Dr Dre’s seminal 1999 album “The Chronic 2001”.

That’s right, Bordeaux and gangsta rap – who’d a thunk it? But it’s true, soon enough Bordeaux and buyers be dippin’ again, right back up on top of things.

Just imagine, Paul Pontallier and Alfred Tesseron, rings and chains glittering against their purple suits with zebra print trim as they bounce over the Pont de Pierre in a pimped out lowrider filled with they b*****s.

You get the picture and if you don’t here are some rewritten lyrics to reflect the joy in Bordeaux when the 2014 vintage (which the Super Bowl article proved it would be a great) caps off a long awaited revival.

“It ain’t nothing but more hot sh**
Another classic vintage for y’all to vibe with
Whether you’re cooling on a corner with your fly b****
Laid back in the shack, play this track.
I’m representing for the vintners all across the world
(Still hitting them corners in them low low’s girl)
I’ll break your neck, damn near put your face in your lap
Burgundy try to be the king but the ace is back.”

There’s also a reference to destemming at the end, listen out for it. In the meantime, gotta bounce, til next time – fules.